My anxiety is giving me anxiety.

This is going to be a rant that I probably won’t proofread (who am I kidding I never do) and might not make a whole lot of sense but I think I need to write my thoughts in order to feel better.

Today I have had extreme anxiety and haven’t been able to manage it well. This isn’t going to be a post about how to feel better when you have it and honestly sharing my thoughts may induce others anxieties so I won’t be offended it you stop reading here.

If you’re still reading, thanks.

Lately I have been having this horrible feeling of working my absolute ass off yet somehow feeling like I’m not doing enough. I don’t mean with actual work but with life in general. I just don’t feel like I’m doing it right. Which is ridiculous, and I know this, but I can’t help feeling it. I just keep getting so angry with myself for not doing things sooner, or better, or anything. I am getting upset for being so hard on myself but as soon as I feel that way I get upset that I’m giving myself too much slack. I know life is all about balance but I feel like my scales are constantly tipping over and I can’t seem to find a happy medium.

Everything is making me feel overwhelmed. Normal daily life things and just simply being an adult is feeling impossible. Showering seems like an impossible task. I don’t know if this is being caused by having a lot of other things going on in my life but it’s honestly scaring me.

It’s just so confusing because this isn’t typically how I am. I love being busy,….

(side note: the universe just played a sick joke on me and I lost the second half of what I wrote so from here to the bottom will be me re-writing my rant which feels impossible right now)

anyways, where was I?

I love being busy, I love working hard, I love challenges. So this is making me feel like I’m not myself. It’s making me feel so lost and confused and like I don’t even know who I am.

I’m also such a rational person so feeling this “dramatic” is only upsetting me more. I know I’m being ridiculous and the things I’m thinking and feeling aren’t right but I just can’t stop. And I know this feeling is temporary. I’ll wake up tomorrow and feel completely fine, but right now it feels like I’ll always feel this way.

Well, I hope some of you can relate actually I wish none of you could because I don’t ever want anyone else to feel this way but unfortunately I’m sure some of you do.

Hopefully I can write a follow up post soon about how I found the greatest ways to overcome this and manage my anxiety when it gets this intense.

xoxo,

 

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142 Comments

  1. Godders
    March 14, 2017 / 7:25 pm

    A great post x

    • LovelyMagickUnicorn
      March 14, 2017 / 7:45 pm

      When people talk about anxiety and what it’s like to have an anxiety disorder I do sometimes wonder if maybe I have one myself. I never really come to the conclusion that I do because I always feel that whatever I’m feeling is never as bad as what people describe. I can say that I’ve felt what you’re describing and that I didn’t handle it pretty well. And I don’t really know if there is a way to handle it well. But writing it out feels like a good start, that and having a good support system

    • Victoria
      March 14, 2017 / 9:17 pm

      Thanks you for sharing. You seem like such a happy spirit and I love hearing what you have to say. Things will feel better for you Cam, thanks for sharing ❤

    • Jess
      March 15, 2017 / 12:57 am

      A great comment x

    • Kereopa
      March 15, 2017 / 2:19 pm

      This describes exactly how I get when my anxiety is full on. It takes me a minute to get myself out of it. While having an anxiety attack and after I suffer from sharp shooting pains in my body and struggle to breath properly. It’s the most exhausting thing to have but knowing there are so many people who suffer from it is refreshing and comforting.

    • Maddy
      March 15, 2017 / 2:42 pm

      When I have anxiety it stops me from focusing on anything else. So if I’m taking a test or doing homework or in the middle of a game, I can’t focus on those things because of my anxiety. It’s comforting knowing I’m not alone and that Cammie and many more get anxiety too, but like she said I wish no one else had to deal with it. Cammie, I really hope things get better. And if it helps, you’re doing a great job. You just put out this amazing blog and you have your YouTube channel and I bet you have more, you’re doing great. I love you and I hope your anxiety gets better. ❤️

    • Laura
      March 15, 2017 / 7:30 pm

      I often feel the same way… I don’t want to shower. I feel like I have to feel good in order to do those things, so you are not alone. I hope you find contentment where you are and realize you have done more than most! So go easy on yourself, at least for now. The world will still be there tomorrow. Sending love and blessings your way!

    • Jessica
      March 15, 2017 / 8:48 pm

      I have no idea who you are, or where you’re from but I stumbled on your blog. I struggle/struggled with anxiety … turns out it’s call a “quarterly life crisis”. It hit me around the age of 25. I’m currently 27. Shits real… google it. I felt mad, frustrated, sad, depressed, difficult to focus, got migraines, disappointed my life wasn’t were I thought it should be….worried a lot (tons of other shitty feelings) basically I wasn’t like myself nor did I know how to fix it… however I knew I was disappointed in myself for admitting I had the word “anxiety”.. finally broke down and told someone close to me how I was feeling. (Which made me feel even worse for not being strong or got them worried) I eventually went to my doctor. Told her exactly how I was feeling. I didn’t want to be medicated or on screwed up narcotics. However she told me my brain wasn’t releasing “happy” stuff (add science shit here) unlike other people somehow she believed my happy stuff might be getting blocked. She placed me on celexa. Not sure how you feel about medications, it kind of helped me. Also talking to people close to me helped a lot. Youre not alone. I hope you find something to help. I don’t know you but, feel free to contact if you need anything.

    • Olivia
      March 18, 2017 / 3:29 am

      Were here for you Cammie.
      I love you❤💙💚💛💜💖💕💗💘💝💞💟

    • Adriana Gaitan
      April 16, 2017 / 9:28 am

      Thank you Cammie for posting this! You always make all of us followers feel like we aren’t alone. 💕

    • Olivia Plesent
      April 16, 2017 / 10:07 am

      I really love this blog post because it doesn’t really serve a purpose other than just speaking how you feel. It’s basically like a diary and we are all probably so honored that you’d be so candid with us. I have always struggled with intense anxiety and I totally know how you feel. And even that makes me feel better sometimes, just knowing someone, somewhere, feels the same way as me. I am not alone, and neither are you. thank you for this. It is my favorite blog post.

    • Taylor Kucharski
      April 16, 2017 / 10:23 am

      Thank you so much for creating such a relatable and truly real post. You’re such an inspiration and you motivate me to keep going every day day! Thank you, beautiful Cammie.

    • MaryCarmen De Los Santos
      April 16, 2017 / 12:40 pm

      I truly loved reading this post. It almost felt like you were inside my mind lol. Thank you so much for sharing these types of moments with us, its nice to know that you’re not alone when it comes to anxiety and even depression. I love your videos and your style ! always killing it mama! <3

    • Tom Ashkenazi Naim
      April 16, 2017 / 11:50 pm

      Dear cammie, thank you so much for writing this. I’m going through the exact same thing now (literally sounds like my own head) and as sad as I am you have to go through this awful thing I can’t halp but feeling better knowing I’m not alone… makes me feel like I’m not a total fuck up. So… thank you. Your the best. Hope it will get better soon.

  2. Sam
    March 14, 2017 / 7:26 pm

    As someone who has had anxiety attacks before I even knew what anxiety was, I can relate. What’s helped me is realizing that most of my discomfort while having anxiety comes from internally fighting against my anxiety–those feelings of “omg I’m anxious ah! scary! bad! what’s wrong with me! stop feeling anxious!” When I turn this–my brain–off and and be more in my body, I feel better. Sometimes that means literally just sitting there and trying to mediate, sometimes it’s changing paces to a physical task (like moving to the kitchen to cut up some veggies, or actually just working out/going for a walk), sometimes it’s turning on a podcast so I can listen instead of think (Tara Brach, a meditation teacher/psychologist, has some soothing podcast talks about anxiety/fear itself and root causes, which can help me, or I’ll just put on an episode of This American Life and fade into Ira Glass’ voice). Therapy has also been a really important tool for me–it can feel scary at first but just having an unbiased human on your team to listen and support you and come up with coping mechanisms specifically tuned to you and your needs is so so important. Hope this helps! <3

    • March 15, 2017 / 9:05 am

      That is absolutely the best comment .Sound advice!

      • Sam
        March 15, 2017 / 3:33 pm

        🙂

  3. Sydney Ware
    March 14, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    okay cam … first of all breathe!!! I’m right there were you are so relax. I’m 27, and I have moments like you are having all the time. I think being in our mid 20s Btw (happy belated bday🎂 ) we get these ideas and feelings like shit! wtf am I doing wrong!? why don’t I feel like I have it together or why am I not satisfied with what I am doing!? I think that’s just the pressure from society that constantly seeps into our pores constantlt that we NEED to do this, have this, be this etc but if you take a moment and step outside of yourself and look at were you are GIRL! you are flying high! As a Pittsburgh native myself I’ve been following you for awhile and you are continuously to shine bright like a diamond (I’m listening to Rihanna right now, sorry) I watch you & I think to myself damn I need to step up my game & do better in my life. You are a beautiful light in this world and I know this won’t help with your anxiety but I hope it atleast makes you smile. I love when you share vulnerable moments like this. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Emily J J
    March 14, 2017 / 7:27 pm

    Having the constant thought of I can always do more and what I doing isn’t enough will only further the anxiety. Anxiety is indeed irrational (and also at times rational) however it is because of your ability to rationalize that you’re continuing a cycle of this idea of being “dramatic.” Regardless of how temporary this is you shouldn’t down play your emotions. Even though this may only last the night it eventually comes back (judging by your shared past). Identifying what could potentially be making you feel this way, rational or not, will help you change this. Although anxiety is typical driven from a place of uncertainty and because that uncertaintiy is unknown it makes it hard for us to pin point what may be causing this. But it is possible. However don’t focus all of your energy trying to understand your anxiety, you may not ever get the answer and that is OKAY; it’s OKAY. Based on one of your previous videos where you stated your habit of listening rather than sharing it helps clarify these emotions. What you seem to be feeling (coming from an outside perspective) seems to be that of pent up emotions causing you “irrational” anxiety. Now in reality is it all that irrational? I honestly don’t think so, while you may write and vent on paper or a blog it doesn’t always properly do the job of relieving the anxiety. Sometimes these habits we form in efforts to relieve or anxiety become just that, habits and anxiety. Keeping yourself busy is nice but it’s important to keep a section of that daily business for sometime productive towards your mental health.
    I don’t know if my rambling helped or not but best to you ❤

  5. March 14, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    I suffer from General Anxiety Disorder and I’m a Psych major so I just wanted to say… usually when you hold yourself to ridiculous standards is when you start having this severe anxiety and feeling like you’re not doing enough. I’ve realized this in my own journey of years and years of thinking I’m not good enough. You are doing your very best and you shouldn’t hold yourself to these unachievable standards.. no one should. Much love xoxo

  6. Yeni
    March 14, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    **I dont know how many times I have commented on this but it doesn’t seem like it is going through so I’m sorry if I have sent you this comment for the 5th time**

    I recently found out that there is this thing called limerence and it has created a lot of problems in my life but I have never been able to pin point it because I never knew about it. I really like someone and we are staying in different countries which makes it really hard for me to contact her and also stay close to her. She hasn’t been replying me or talking to me and I started feeling very sick about it. I can’t eat, can’t sleep and shower, I just feel like it is so hard for me? The worst part is probably falling out of a group of friends and having no one to hang out with after school anymore. It was just a really crappy month for me. I started cramming all my work when it’s due in 3-4 weeks and I feel like there is not enough for me to do.

    I know I am better than this but man, I hate me for overthinking and I know people don’t like people who overthink. It’s so unnecessary and draining.

    Anyway, I hope you feel better soon!! Good days are coming Cammie! Love you so much! <3

  7. Joy
    March 14, 2017 / 7:28 pm

    Cammie!!! You need to bring yourself back down. Focus!! Remember how you feel when you’re in Sedona and put yourself there. You are in control of your own mind. Don’t let it control you!!💕💕

  8. Bree
    March 14, 2017 / 7:29 pm

    I wish I wasn’t saying this as much as I wish you weren’t feeling this way but I’ve been feeling/ going through the same thing lately. It’s a struggle but you’re still standing! You’ve also made a huge impact on my life as well as others. You inspire many, and you are honestly someone I look up to. We all have our ups and downs but you have people who are here for you when you are down! Wishing you all the best Cammie!(:

  9. March 14, 2017 / 7:30 pm

    I think sometimes it’s important to just write shit (excuse language) down. It doesn’t have to make sense. It doesn’t have to give clarity. It doesn’t have to be impactful. It just has to be raw.

    This is raw.

    I like it. I don’t like that you’re feeling this way, but I like this.

  10. Chloe Swift
    March 14, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    This broke my heart to read just because it’s true! I’ve never been able to put into word quite how I feel and it’s been getting worse lately for me, until now I haven’t been able to describe the way I’m feeling but reading this has kinda hit the nail on the head so to speak, now I just need to get help and unfortunately that’s not easy, but no the less great post you’ve helped me if not anyone else today!

  11. Olivia
    March 14, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    I think it’s important to have high points and low points, but I’d never want you to feel as though you’re not doing enough. I know this is a personal thing, but whenever I’m down about something I turn to music. Sometimes a song describes exactly how your feeling and it gets you out of your own head. I suggest the song “Drowning” by Miki Ratsula. It basically says everything you just said, but then has this reassuring vibe at the end. Idk I may be completely crazy, but if you ever feel like you’re not doing enough maybe just look back on some of your videos or even Instagram posts and look in the comments. You help people become the best versions of themselves everyday. That’s such an amazing quality to have and very few people have that power. I also think it’s important to remember that you don’t have to set yourself up to the highest standard in everything. Goals are important, but goodness, you don’t have to beat yourself up! Now I’m rambling… hope something helpful came out of this! Love you so much, Cam💙

  12. Denise Davis
    March 14, 2017 / 7:31 pm

    Have you considered Cannabis Oil? I take it twice a day to manage my anxiety. I’m not big on prescribed meds, but that’s only because I know my own body and my own tolerance levels. Cannabis oil isn’t psychotropic so you don’t get “high”. The effect it has on me is very calming. Don’t get me wrong. I still have episodes, but they’re minor and I can get to a place of “I’m ok” a lot quicker(?)/easier(?) with the oil.

    Know that you are not alone, even though when you are going through it, it feels like you are! Know that all is well, and you are ok. If you’d like to do your research, please consider cwhemp.com (where I get my oil. It’s called Charlotte’s Web) And also Realm Of Caring – theroc.us The Realm Of Caring offers som insight into the benefits of cannibis oil.

    I wish you well. Please take care of you. Know that only you know what’s best for you.

  13. Chloe
    March 14, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    I know the feeling all to well…. Some day it’s like you just can’t seem to do anything and you feel worthless even though you know you’re wrong.
    If you have some tips or a way to overcome this, please tell me cause it’s getting harder everyday!
    Love you, feel better soon girl 😘

  14. Audrey L
    March 14, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    I really relate to this post. One of the things that induces my anxiety most is the feeling that I am always busy, yet doing nothing.
    Life is done differently by everyone, but I look around me and I see how differently everyone is doing it than I am. As a college student, I am constantly turning in assignments and seeing how everyone around me printed theirs and if they had title pages, headers, etc. When I see that they have something I lack, even if I feel good about my level of effort I put forth, I feel like I must be the one who is in the wrong. Every time.

  15. Angie
    March 14, 2017 / 7:36 pm

    I don’t think I have a anxiety disorder but I do feel like that sometimes like everything seems impossible so I can relate in some way. Writing is a good way to feel better, at least for me. All days are not good days and that’s ok. It sucks I know but trust me on something Cammie, you’re enough you’re doing it right. Life is hard but it’s so beautiful too.

  16. Taylor
    March 14, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    I just have so many questions. Like how do you do it all. I mean i get it that we as people only see so much of you. And im just wondering how you dont feel down. I am just asking for a friend. I have anxiety and it all hits me at the time.

  17. Terri Hunt
    March 14, 2017 / 7:40 pm

    I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression since I was 12. Been battling my whole life; especially when it comes to doing everyday things that I know as an adult needs to be done, and still feel like I’m not doing enough as an adult. I hope things get better for you.

  18. Alejandra
    March 14, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Lately I’ve been feeling the same. I’ve been trying my best to do everything right and with everything I mean school, my relationship, family and some other things that are important for me, but I still feel like I’m not doing good enough and this is affecting me. I wish I knew how to control all this thoughts and emotions.
    Anyway, I hope you find out how to manage your anxiety and feel better, I wish nothing but a happy life for the amazing person you are Cammie, thanks for sharing this with us.
    P.S. I’m not very good at expressing my thoughts so I’m sorry I didn’t say much.

  19. Christie
    March 14, 2017 / 7:42 pm

    Hi beautiful,

    I can 100% relate to this, one minute I’m bawling my eyes out and freaking out having the biggest temper tantrum and a few hours later I’m so chill. I find it really helps me to just write down exactly what I’m feeling and why and not think about it so I scribble it in a book in messy handwriting it doesn’t make any sense there’s a lot of swearing but I keep writing until I’ve calmed down and I notice than I’m writing more of a positive outcome so I can write through the whole journey of emotion. Remembering to still be grateful for good things. I also have a book to write down 3 moments of joy everyday no matter how small and I’ve managed to do it everyday since the end of December as it’s such a good way to reflect even if I’ve had a terrible day. Hope you’re feeling better soon xx

  20. March 14, 2017 / 7:43 pm

    Hi Cam, I know exactly the feeling and all the thinks that cross from your mind, but after cross many times I always think in some steps to walk throw this. And im sure that you make this too. Please chear whith us same of them or what make you feell bether. Sorry for my english. Im working in it. Saludos from Argentina.

  21. elizabeth
    March 14, 2017 / 7:44 pm

    I always feel like this, I know there’s nothing *anyone* can do to help, but I send you all my love. <3

  22. Gabriella Perry
    March 14, 2017 / 7:44 pm

    I feel the same exact way all the time. my anxiety has gotten so bad this second semester of college. coming out to my family was very hard and my mom isn’t taking it well. so being in a constant argument with my parents doesn’t help. plus i have a shit ton of other stuff going on and i am taking way too many classes this semester, and now i am regretting it. also cancelled my therapist once and now i literally cannot get myself to pick up the phone and re schedule. lmk if u figure out how to fix it because I for sure need some help. it is really good to hear that I am not the only one out there with this issue. Some days I literally think showering is the hardest thing to do, just thinking about getting up sounds like such a difficult task.

  23. March 14, 2017 / 7:45 pm

    Hey Cammie,
    I just wanted to say thanks for writing this because honestly, I thought I was the only person who felt like this, I just didn’t know how to describe it — which makes things way more difficult when trying to actually express what’s getting you down to the people closest to you.
    With me personally there seems to be no happy medium. Either I’m working too hard with too much on my plate and not enough time to even think; then I cut back and isolate myself and feel like I’m wasting time doing absolutely nothing at all.
    I’m sorry you’re feeling this way and I wish I had some advice to offer up to help.
    Keep your head up though, I’m sure everything will work out the way it’s suppose to.

  24. Kali
    March 14, 2017 / 7:46 pm

    I feel ya on this one Cammie! There’s times in my life where I get anxiety as well and feel like I’m unaccomplishing. I’m glad you are able to write on here and have people who don’t personally know you genuinely care about you like I do, and I know that reading all of these comments will help. I love you girl! ❤️

  25. Alexus
    March 14, 2017 / 7:46 pm

    Hi Cammie my name is Alexus and I was just reading your post on your blog and I just wanted to say a few words about it if that’s okay😩 I think there’s nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do Cam. Your anxiety might be coming from you feeling like you have no control over your life but in reality you have control. You have to decide what’s best for you. People may give there opinions but it’s all up to you baby girl. When you were saying that you usually like to stay busy it made me think maybe being busy isn’t good all the time. It’s important to focus on self love and health before anything. I think you should try something…….Every week go somewhere where you can find peace and write down all the things you want to get done that week and only focus on that. I think trying this little exercise will help you with your anxiety as well. Now once you make that list you focus on things and nothing else. Or if that doesn’t work glove yourself tasks every week. I’ll stop here but I just wanted to leave you a little message because I love and support you no matter what❤️ xoxo Lex

  26. Jessica Kennedy
    March 14, 2017 / 7:47 pm

    Hey Cammie! I know the feeling. Managing both college and working full time sometimes I feel like there is no way to manage everything. I’ve broken down a few times and cried the night before a big test when I was working too much to study. But what I found helpful is thinking of just one thing at a time. Just think “what do I have to do right now at this moment” and focus on that first and not the big picture. Also what helped is thinking “what really happens if I somehow mess this up” nothing. It’s a test, or it’s a job (even though I love my job). It’s not life or death. I have health and so many other things. I don’t know if that helps but it helps me. I know what it’s like to have anxiety and worry about things and it sucks. I hope you feel better soon! 🙂 also, I’m pretty sure everyone thinks you’re doing a great job.

  27. A.M.S
    March 14, 2017 / 7:48 pm

    Hey Cammie, just sending some love from wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy…. over in the Caribbean( Trinidad). If you believe that you are doing the right thing, then hey that’s all that matters because at the end of the day, the only person you need to please is yourself and no one else. Leave whoever wants to be negative and judgmental because sadly that’s all they can be. I read a quote somewhere ” Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind does not matter” *I think that’s it lol well something along those lines* But yes, keep being the positive, energetic and loving person you are and all good will come your way! :*

  28. My
    March 14, 2017 / 7:48 pm

    i know EXACTLY how you’re feeling. i’m about to graduate and i am fucking terrified of going out there into the real world, away from the safety of our home the good ole 412 (as you can probably relate to….) my anxiety is giving me anxiety at this point. it’s so hard to do your best with all these expectations around you. i’m so proud of you and always here for you pretty girl and if you ever need a chat, you can find me at @trxdecim ❤

  29. Celia Tang
    March 14, 2017 / 7:49 pm

    Hi Cammie, I did enjoy to read about your feeling that make me feel I m not alone and have the same feeling of “there’s no reason to be freaked out” Love you Cammie

  30. Francesca
    March 14, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    I really appreciate you openly talking about this kind of things, great blog btw!
    Love you

  31. Christen
    March 14, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    Thank you for posting it because it’s reminded me that others have anxiety too-even though I wish that it’s the contrary. I am 22 and I suffer from chronic anxiety due to school and facing adulthood. I feel exactly the same way- I love being busy, but I would rather have nothing to do if being busy has to be mixed with anxiety. It’s just developed over the past few years and now, I wake up with anxiety every morning and I have to face it everyday. It sucks but I’m glad that people are being more open about mental health, like this blog post! I’m reading a book called “Mindfulness” and I highly recommend it (it has a white cover with a bundle of yarn being untangled). It is teaching me to recognize my feelings of anxiety, but prevent those feelings from controlling me. Rather, I have to just feel the anxiety and recognize it. Anyways, I recommend it to you because it’s helped me so far even though I’m on the first chapter! Thank you for raising awareness of mental health and speaking about something so vulnerable! It’s definitely comforted me in this journey in anxiety.

  32. victoria c
    March 14, 2017 / 7:50 pm

    I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. Anxiety sucks but I’ve found that drilling the fact that I’ll be okay into my head helps. Sometimes an anxious feeling will come over me for no reason but if I tell myself that I’m fine, it’s just my brain being wonky I start to feel better. We all go through weird funks and it can be such a bummer but just know that you are not alone, ever. I’m rooting for you and I hope this makes you feel somewhat better.

  33. Holly
    March 14, 2017 / 7:51 pm

    My anxiety has been really bad this past year and the part that makes it worse is that it’s physically visible because I get a rash that spreads across my chest and neck when I get anxious and when I feel it happening it just makes it worse. It first started only when speaking in public but it’s become a daily occurrence any time I’m in a social situation. It makes me feel so dumb because I know no one cares if I’m turning red besides myself but it feels so debilitating at this point. Just know there’s people out there feelin for ya. You’re great.

  34. Holly
    March 14, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    I completely understand how you feel. Even, though I’m 27 and doing everything right, I’m not doing anything right. Does that make Sense? I’m moving at the end of the month just to see if that makes everything easier for me. I find myself moving every few years or so, not just house to house, but state to damn state!! I feel like I’m not making enough money. I think it’s because I haven’t settled down with a someone yet, but I can’t find the right person. Come to the conclusion here isn’t one. Anxiety and life..Ruthless bitch!!!

  35. Jessica
    March 14, 2017 / 7:53 pm

    I know exactly how you feel and it’s scary, but temporary. The times I usually feel like this are when I have a lot going on in my life, I overthink, and it is stressful. When times like these get tough usually I tend to go outdoors. Slowly breathe in the universe, and in between every breath I take, I remind myself that tomorrow will be another day. We all fall into this feeling but tbh good thing we’re surrounded by the people that love us and hear us out. Life needs a turn of events, thats what makes it special.

  36. Shawna
    March 14, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    Hey Cammie, I know what it feels like to go through anxiety because it happens to me too. I know what it feels like to work hard, be busy but then that itself isn’t enough. I’ve been angry at myself too for not doing better or being better. I can’t help but blame myself maybe over silly things that probably aren’t even my fault. Like I don’t even know how I’ve made it into my 9th year in adulthood because some days, even getting outta bed is impossible.

    People tell me to stop being so ‘dramatic’ and a lot of times, that upsets me coz it’s not like I have complete control over my anxiety. It’s been dialled down over the years but sometimes, it just creeps up on me.

    So you’re definitely not alone Cammie. I’m here and let’s get through this together yeah?

  37. Riham
    March 14, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Does it feel like the grounds beneath you are shifting? You’re at the exact same place you are but you’re not familiar with your surroundings?
    Let me tell you something. Having anxiety and knowing that you’re having anxiety is better than having anxiety and not knowing what’s turning your world upside down.
    You will overcome this cammie. Find your safe haven. Get back to your comfort zone. Shut everything around you and surround yourself with people you’re very close to. People you’re comfortable sharing this side of you with.
    Stay strong, can.

  38. Steph ren
    March 14, 2017 / 7:56 pm

    Hey Cammie,

    Normally don’t really post, but I’ve been dealing with anxiety for several years now and I can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed and just wanting to give up sometimes.

    I also understand what you mean with the whole not wanting to feel this way, but you do. I used to ask myself a lot why am I upset or anxious when my life is good.

    But I’m a strong believer that some days are better than others. Days that felt impossible, pass and it’s a new day. Just have to take it one day at a time even though you know the feeling will come back.

    Thanks for sharing your post.
    Look forward to reading more!

  39. Nicole M.
    March 14, 2017 / 7:58 pm

    I have OCD. It’s a type of anxiety disorder where I have these irrational thoughts I can’t control and that leads to compulsions like cleaning, organizing etc. It makes me want to hit my head against the wall to make the thoughts stop. But I can’t hide from them. They are my nightmare. I’ve tried medication and it didn’t work. It’s been seven years living with it and I still can’t control it. I feel like I’m a slave and OCD is my master. Point is: anxiety messes with your head. It will take over your life and it might not give it back. Don’t let it.

  40. Lya
    March 14, 2017 / 8:02 pm

    I have felt the exact same way in the past couple of months!
    What I’ve realised is that I’ve been trying to keep up with the people around me, and I’ve noticed I’ve compared myself to every single person in my life.
    I have very big hopes, big dreams and I tend to set a very high expectation with myself, and what I’ve come to learn during this time is that I definitely need to learn patience and also to take every day one step at a time. It kinda helps me calm down a bit and gives me a little reassurance that it’ll be okay, and I’ll catch with myself, (not the people around me) emotionally and mentally.
    Love you Cam and thank you so much for everything x

  41. Crystal
    March 14, 2017 / 8:04 pm

    You are NOT alone, as you can see by all the comments! Just breathe and know that this is NOT a forever thing!!! I mean sometimes when I’m struggling and having a bad day I think of all the things I’ve gone through in life and how maybe at the time the struggle, pain or whatever it was seemed so hard to overcome but to see how far I’ve come gives reassurance that whatever I may be going through RIGHT NOW won’t matter days from now! I mean gotta have the tough days to appreciate those great days all the more!!! Cammie, you are doing more than enough; you are inspiring, making people’s day, spreading positivity in a world where negativity just seems to be the easy route and so common among people! If that’s not enough I don’t know what is!! Just look at the following you have, the supporters that have your back and are rooting for you!!! Those are the people in some way you’ve inspired, helped, and impacted greatly!! You are loved, you are enough, you are appreciated and NEVER alone! This too will pass! And I know that you will pull through and once again be of such great help to others!

  42. Desiree
    March 14, 2017 / 8:08 pm

    Hey Cammie!
    Something I found useful when my anxiety gets the best of me is to go stargazing. It helps me realize that there are other things out there that I don’t have any control of which don’t effect me at all. It’s a sense of weird comfort that takes my mind off the current circumstances.
    If that doesn’t work for you, then I’d suggest writing down every little thing that bothered you after your anxiety attack happens. Little things pile up throughout the day and sometimes we don’t see how much they bother us at the end.
    If anything, it’s a start to understanding your triggers and will hopefully give you the ability to overcome these attacks faster when they occur.

    Most importantly, remember that you’re not alone in this.

    -Legendezi

  43. Poppy
    March 14, 2017 / 8:10 pm

    Be gentle with yourself, you’re doing the best you can. Never tell yourself you’re being ridiculous, we all have our monsters. The song Monsters by Timeflies ft. Katie Sky always seems to calm me a little when my mind goes into overdrive. You have enough. You do enough. You are enough.

  44. Lisa I.
    March 14, 2017 / 8:11 pm

    Love your post and so much respect for you! I’m not a super religious person but when I’m feeling the same way you are this quote and a deep breath helps me out a little so maybe it’ll do the same for you:

    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

    P.S. Your blog posts are great, your honesty in them is really refreshing to read (and thats coming from someone who’s not a big reader).

  45. Tatiana
    March 14, 2017 / 8:13 pm

    I have so much gratitude that you just had the courage to post this. The person I love most is going through this and trying to be a support has been so hard…but reading this and the comments has helped. Thank you so much

  46. Monica L
    March 14, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    Hey Cam<3
    I understand completely. I've been struggling with anxiety my entire life and it sucks sometimes because a lot of people see it as something that can be easily swept away. They say things like "just relax" or "calm down" and sometimes that just makes me feel more crazy.
    I hope we can all soon find our ways to control our anxiety, but for now, what I love to do when I get like that (even though it does not necessarily rid me of my anxiety) is to sit down with some tea or coffee and just breathe 🙂
    I hope you feel better lovely!

  47. Kelly Nickerson
    March 14, 2017 / 8:14 pm

    I totally and undeniably get this. You strive for something that you don’t entirely understand. You feel like you can do more , be better, but do not truly understand how you can attain it. Sometimes I feel like I am so lost. I ask myself how can I do more ? Be better? Help more? I feel like I can do more in regards to my career, as a sister, or a daughter. It is just scary and difficult. The anxiety creates an image of insecurity and uncertainty.
    However, I hope you know Cammie that you are amazing and make such a huge impact on so many lives out here. Sometimes it seems like a bunch of numbers ( in regards to likes or views), but those all symbolize a spirit and soul you have personally touched.. you are more than enough. You are great. With the anxiety, it often clouds or muffles the positivity, but you bring light into our lives.

  48. Joeyinn
    March 14, 2017 / 8:15 pm

    Ah I totally know how you feel Cam. You don’t want to feel this way but you just can’t help it. I think it has a lot to do with our personality, holding ourselves to high standard and trying to reach perfection, knowing that sometimes it’s impossible to, that we shouldn’t, that we have tried our best but that frustration, that voice in our head that keeps telling us we’re not good enough. Urgh. When it gets bad, sleepless nights and daily anxiety attacks. Not a pretty sight. it severely hammers my productivity and progress on my work. I just turned 30 and just graduated with a master degree, has no job, and am dealing with lots of other personal issues (insert a headless chicken running around screaming). Lol. What I’ve learned to manage that anxiety is whenever I feel it creeping in, I take a deep breathe and walk it off. I take a break, go for a short walk, distract myself with those little beautiful things around me for a bit until the feeling goes away because if I know if I dwell on it, it gets worse. Learn to believe in yourself, keep telling yourself that it’s okay even though you know it.
    I hope you find your own way to cope with your demon Cammie, I hope everyone does too.
    Good luck!
    Much love, x

  49. Hayley Cusick
    March 14, 2017 / 8:18 pm

    Girl, I feel you. The worst is feeling like you’re being irrational in your thoughts and completely aware of it at the same time. Just remind yourself that your feelings are your own and they are valid. Super important when it comes to mental health! Anxiety is awful. I can definitely relate. I hope you find ways to ease your mind! Taking a step back, writing lists, alone time, and playing with my pup usually helps me.

    Much love and good vibes your way. Cheers!

  50. Claire J
    March 14, 2017 / 8:21 pm

    I hope that i understand wel.l because I am not good at English. But I want to tell you something. I think you will have such anxiety often in the future. maybe more than you think. but natural. not just you. others are also anxiety. first of all, you’re rational person but can feel dramtic feeling. Its ok. All this is you. Its helpful for you to acknowledge. And when you feel lost, think of the meaning of what you do. No need to be grandiose. The meaning has made you do something and will do something for it. The meanigs may change or grow. Follow the meaning that makes you happy. Its ok. One rainy day but hundreds of sunny day. Lovely Cammie, you’ve done so well. And You are a man who can do everything well enough. Love you.

  51. Danneille
    March 14, 2017 / 8:30 pm

    I think the hardest part is becoming comfortable with the silence. It’s in the silence that the feeling of everyday life seems un bareable and leaves us with all the pent up anxiety. But if we can understand that at the end of everyday, when it’s all set and done and everything is quiet, that you did the best you could do with what you knew then. I feel like then we can overcome the anxiety. In that silence or times where we feel alone, is where we really grow and become that much better. I hope that tomorrow you wake up and feel 100% better and that when it happens again you remember what helped get you through it this time to make it easier on you. You inspire people every single day. Sometimes it’s easy to feel alone, so maybe just look for someone or something that’s going to inspire you to keep moving forward.

  52. March 14, 2017 / 8:31 pm

    If you ask me on a scale to 1-10 how much I’d relate to this, I’d definitely say 12
    Not some cam many of us feel this way…
    Hope you find an awesome outbreak 🙂
    Have a good day XO

  53. Kris
    March 14, 2017 / 8:36 pm

    Hi Cam! My anxiety has days like this a lot. Sometimes there are reasons for it and other days I am unreasonably unable to function properly. Normally, I’m a very “on top of my stuff” kinda person but when my anxiety takes over, I find it so difficult to even scribble down a couple notes for a class. As a senior in high school, I can say there’s much more work to do than most people think. So when I have these days where I’m struggling to control my anxiety, it causes a lot of problems in my school life. I’ll have so much work, so many papers, assignments, notes to do, but I’ll have zero motivation to get it all done. So I’ll become this shell of a human being, with all of my inner strength shut down even to the point where I feel physically tired. But I promise you there are loads of ways to help ease the anxiety. I know you know plenty of ways but I’m gonna try to be a useful member of society and tell you things that almost always help me:
    • write your feelings (you already do that which is awesome; maybe form it into poetry or something)
    • listen to some of your favorite upbeat music
    • watch some funny or inspirational youtubers (like yourself <3)
    • take a nap (naps are the best)
    • make some tea (yogi stress relief tea is really good)
    Alright well I hope this helped in some way, shape, or form and I hope you feel better. I know this has no correlation with your anxiety but never forget what an incredible and inspiring person you are. Love you lots, Cam 🙂

  54. Taylor D'Orazio
    March 14, 2017 / 8:40 pm

    I was that way too. Every task was like climbing over a mountain. But, when I ranted to a friend she told me, “No matter what, always think of something as a mission accomplished.” Now, at the time I didn’t understand what she meant. The next morning I told her I went for a walk and she sent me a picture saying mission accomplished. She kept doing that for a long time. I felt like I was being useful and admiring my body and mind for what it really is and what it really can do. What I mean is, count the smallest tasks as doing something big for yourself.

  55. Sam
    March 14, 2017 / 8:40 pm

    everything you’re thinking and feeling is 100% real and rational. I’m in a similar boat and am with you in this. you’ve got this Cam. we’re all rooting for you. wishing you all the best

  56. Thobeka R
    March 14, 2017 / 9:07 pm

    I’ve gat axiety myself and the best way I get over it is by forcing myself to think of something that makes me very happy. I’m a producer (no this isn’t a self promo) and just a simple thought about Ableton like the fact that I have it and what it allows me to do/the consideration of how blessed and fortunate I am to get to do what I truly love usually start some kind of replacement of the feelings causing me axiety. Now like I said these thoughts don’t automatically replace the axiety feels so much as just start me feeling better. It works MOST (86.4%) of the time 🙂 and sometimes takes a while too but it does work. I don’t know much about feelings and the human psyche but I do know that we can choose our thoughts, we have control over that much at least and our thoughts somehow do affect our ’emotions’.

    So yeah that’s my 2 cents and if you have change for a dollar it would be greatly appreciated 🙏🏾
    …also my spelling and grammar are atrocious but something tells me that doesn’t matter here <3

  57. PyperDani
    March 14, 2017 / 9:22 pm

    Head up Cam you can kick anxieties ass 👊🏻

  58. Bella
    March 14, 2017 / 9:38 pm

    I can confidently say that I’ve never experienced any type of anxiety attacks, and I’m grateful for that. I get nervous, but never have I went through anything that you’ve mentioned.

    However, my mum does. What’s unfortunate is that she has to represent her clients in court, so whenever she has anxiety, all she can do is to pop a pill that relaxes her. It’s near impossible to calm her with words, no matter what you say to her.. but I still try to talk her through it though.

    Sending positive vibes xx

  59. Viviana Cornejo
    March 14, 2017 / 9:42 pm

    Cammie, you’re an amazing person! Maybe you just need to truly take a breath and take a look on what you have accomplished so far! You can’t over work yourself and then get anxiety over that! Please take care of yourself!

  60. R
    March 14, 2017 / 9:49 pm

    Always remember that this is just a phase and it too shall pass . Nothing is permanent in life! It’s easier said than done but take one day at a time and don’t be too harsh on yourself 🙂 . Breathe, relax and live in the moment !

  61. TJ
    March 14, 2017 / 10:06 pm

    Hi Cam!
    I’m sorry my bad English
    You are going through a difficult period to manage with anxiety but let try to get up. We are here to listen and share with you. You have a loving heart God will bless you. Keep in mind that family, faith and determination will get you through the hardships. Focus on yourself and stop remembering memories, do not go through the old ways that you often go. Try not to keep your memories attached to you, go out to breathe fresh air and find some new friends as well as participate in some local community activities. They will help you find the meaning of your life when you help someone.
    Dear and love you Cammie !

  62. Aileen
    March 14, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this. I hope it helped you as much as it helped me. I’m a juinor in college and I lost all of my friends last semester and have recently begun making new ones. It’s scary. I need people. But being forced to be alone has taught me a lot. A school adjustment counselor in high school asked me to rate my anxiety for her every day I saw her on a scale of 1-10. Back then, it varied a lot. Now it’s al an 11 everyday and I don’t know what to do. One of my new friends is taking me to a resource center for sexual assault and we’re going to get information on treatment for several things I have going on right now.
    I haven’t felt like myself in weeks. I feel like I’m floating above myself. Like I’m watching my life happen and I have no control over any of it. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do.

  63. Aileen
    March 14, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this. I hope it helped you as much as it helped me. I’m a juinor in college and I lost all of my friends last semester and have recently begun making new ones. It’s scary. I need people. But being forced to be alone has taught me a lot. A school adjustment counselor in high school asked me to rate my anxiety for her every day I saw her on a scale of 1-10. Back then, it varied a lot. Now it’s al an 11 everyday and I don’t know what to do. One of my new friends is taking me to a resource center for sexual assault and we’re going to get information on treatment for several things I have going on right now.
    I haven’t felt like myself in weeks. I feel like I’m floating above myself. Like I’m watching my life happen and I have no control over any of it. I’m lost and I don’t know what to do. My biggest fear now is losing my new friends.

  64. March 14, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    I can relate to that. Lately, i feel like that everyday. You know that feeling when you wake up and keep staring at the ceiling because you can’t even muster the strength to get up, or even shower. When you feel you’re doing everything wrong, or when you feel like you’re not enough. Those feelings sucks. I usually try to take deep breaths and be positive about life (like noticing small details that makes me happy & makes more sense) but it’s not always working. I can’t wait to read the follow up if you write it. I still have to find ways to manage it better.

  65. Slim
    March 14, 2017 / 10:29 pm

    Man. I can relate to this feeling lately a little too much. I’ve lost the desire sometimes to want to do the most simple shit. Much like you I just think everything I do could have been done sooner, better, or different.

    Maybe we just have so many expectations of ourselves and of life that if we don’t meet them to an exact “T” we freak out? I don’t know..but as much as it sucks it’s nice to read someone else’s words match my feelings. Hope you keep pushing through and I hope these feelings pass for all the people including you who feel them.

  66. March 14, 2017 / 11:05 pm

    I can completely relate to what you’re going through. I often wonder where this overwhelming desire to “do more” and to “be more” seem to come from? Is it a generational thing, or merely the pressure we have put on ourselves? Is perfectionism being driven by our anxiety disorders…or does it come from some intrinsic need to over-achieve? Thank-you for your raw and honest experience with anxiety. I hope you feel better soon.
    Steph xx

  67. Rhonda L.
    March 14, 2017 / 11:51 pm

    Hi Cammie, thank you for being brave in writing something so personal about yourself. I don’t know if you have health insurance or not but you might benefit from taking an anxiety class. It may help you and give you more of a better idea of why your having these anxieties and how to cope with them.. Even if you may not have health insurance there may be places in L. A. that offer anxiety classes at a low cost. I don’t know how long you have been having these anxieties, but I’m sure the last year for you have not been the easiest. Anyway I always wish you well, I think you’re an amazing woman!!

  68. Emily
    March 15, 2017 / 12:26 am

    There were certain parts of this post that made me feel like I was reading about myself. Simple things being so hard to do with no real reason. I over analyse situations I could be in making situations I am in difficult and seem impossible. Sometimes I don’t want to leave the house because of things that could happen, and when I do put myself in that situation I am usually absolutely fine and I wonder what I was worrying about. That’s why anxiety really sucks. I’m told time and time again by friends and family that i’ll be fine and the most frustrating thing is that it’s true and I know it’s true but when my brain has a different way of thinking I can’t seem to help or stop those feelings.

    To say I was a worrier would be abit of an understatement. I get upset and angry with myself for worrying about silly things too. But some bigger worries can cause sleepless nights which can sometimes lead to panic attacks, but I find having such a close support system with people I can talk to definitely really helps.

    A new blog post about overcoming and managing your anxieties would definitely be great to read and I can’t wait but I love how real you are in this post, talking about something that is not talked about enough in my opinion.

    love you cam x

  69. March 15, 2017 / 1:55 am

    Great post, Cam.
    Im a 28 year old vegan in Sweden, living with it as well. Have had bad anxeity since 2007. It sucks.
    But I will say this: you learn alot. ALOT. And on my better days I can share that – just like you do right now. We will help people. End the stigma. This is great. Im not happy for us tho, it really do suck. But know you’re not alone in this.

    Hugs from me and my two cats:)

  70. Charie
    March 15, 2017 / 2:27 am

    I wish I can tell you that these anxiety attacks won’t happen again, but oh boy, it definitely will. It probably will happen more often than anyone would have hoped it would.

    What helped me through my own anxiety attacks was to just take things one day at a time. Let tomorrow’s anxieties be dealt with tomorrow and just focus on the present.

    So breathe, cry, rant, smile, or do whatever it is that could possibly help you get through the day, then just hope for a better tomorrow. I think that’s all we can do anyways. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Things will get better. 🙂

  71. Megan Connery
    March 15, 2017 / 2:31 am

    Hey Cammie, hope you’re feeling a lot better today. Thank you for opening your heart and letting us read about something that many people can relate to, and can perhaps find comfort in that they’re not alone. I may not know you personally, but it shows in your videos/blog posts/social media/jewellery line that you work so incredibly hard, and deserve every success you get and then some! Plus, the blog post where you were honest about not opening up to people when needed. Well, you’ve managed it today, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s horrible that some days you feel like this, but I hope that today brings you happiness, as it usually does. If not, or you find yourself in a similar mindset another day, do whatever you need to do to try to feel better. Whether that’s taking a walk, going out with some friends, crying and eating vegan ice cream. That last one may not sound too great, but letting these emotions out into the open is so healthy and natural. As long as you’re being good to yourself, that’s what matters. Hope you have a great day today, I can’t wait to read more of your stories.

  72. L.A
    March 15, 2017 / 3:01 am

    Hi Cam,
    Although I may not be in your shoes to truly understand what you are feeling , I want you to know that I am here,
    rooting for you.
    Expressing your feelings is a good start because it allows you to embrace the situation, feel it, and try to figure it out.
    This life I tell you can get fkin difficult and I’m 31 years old and I’m still trying to figure it out–but I learned it’s ok not to have all the answers coz sometimes when you think you have it somehow figured it out there is something else. The future is scary and it’s uncertain but don’t forget to live in the moment, These days-years will pass you by before you know it. And It’s also okay to feel like shit once in awhile, ( I do every other 3days) You have to feel your lowest to appreciate your high and to come out stronger, better than you were before. I learned that the world does not stop for you regardless what is going on with you, feel it–take as much time as you want, but gotta keep going. Give less Fcuks, and continue being a kind person. You have so much worth, and have accomplished so much in your 26 years than most people do, don’t be hard on yourself. You are such an awesome person, who I admire, and every time I think of your smile, It makes me smile.

    You have this whole life ahead of you, where not so beautiful things and beautiful things will happen– stay excited about it.
    And yes I promise you it will be okay and It will get better maybe not today, but someday.
    And Only you know the answers to these situations/feelings you are feeling…dig deep and you will find it.

    xoxo
    LA

  73. Lisa
    March 15, 2017 / 4:27 am

    Hey Cammie,

    Anxiety sucks but remember you are a beautiful person inside and out and you have the support of people literally all over the world. When I have little bits of anxiety throughout the day, I usually find it helpful to just drop everything take some time to just take a few deep breaths and I guess meditate. If that doesn’t work I’ll just go take a cheeky nap haha. I use to always get angry with myself for putting off doing certain things and I’ve learnt to adopt the “If it takes less than 5 minutes to do, just bloody do it” rule and it has worked wonders.

    With love, from Australia.

  74. March 15, 2017 / 4:58 am

    Reading through the blog post, I totally get you! I TOO am quite a rational person normally. I’ve been told I am half rational and the other half irrational which makes total sense and that can get contradictory sometimes: when I’m caught in an irrational tailwind I can see myself from the outside, and my rational half is telling me off for being irrational. However, looking back on my past, I would say that my rational side was often induced by my father (I love the guy and we are like 2 peas in a pod but I think lately I’ve been trying to be too much like him that it’s making me worse), not just my dad but my older brother as well – just having quite a few people around me judging me and looking at the way I have dealt with responsible tasks and how my mother (who is the most irrational person in the universe – ha!) has dealt with such tasks, it has given me a complex about not feeling good enough if I am too irrational because it has got me into scrapes and near misses.

    People have told me to get a job when I have been doing what I love and have a severe passion/drive for, when I have been following my dream rational people have been telling me it’s not enough but I have ignored them, because my rational/irrational self has always seen outside the box… but… sadly there are those times where I feel guilty for ignoring one path because there have been consequences. I have been distracted from my true path with random ideas that i can please the rational people but then I have had to jump back onto my true path because what I was doing was making me sick. Right now i have reached a point in my life where all the toggling Ive done in the past, I am having to undo all the knots. I have felt as confused, frustrated, angry at the universe, melo dramatic, and victimised by the universe as you. I have felt so out of my depth that a part of me starts to have dark thoughts like: how can i possibly continue in a life like this? Will I always be back to feeling unaccomplished and insignificant? But I don’t believe I am those things, that’s the whole point. I am taking on judgements that are leaking from other people’s minds. I am impressionable. I am really a very wise and powerful being, but I’m allowing society to downplay me and I am forgetting that I am unique and have a particular path and should not feel like altering myself to fit the mould.

    My gf told me something very insightful yesterday: she said that the reason I have been feeling like everything i usually do and want to do, I have no desire to do it anymore, it’s because my body/spirit is telling me to CHILL. Don’t put any expectations on yourself, because what is coming up for you demands your whole focus and you wont feel bored or frustrated with your life again. I am due to go to university to study my second passion alongside writing: animation. I would never have got in if it werent for meeting my gf, because she inspired me to get my s**t together and do what I love because she does what she is good at and it is in the field coincidentally that i have always wanted to go into too. I was in a dead end job that was making me depressed and paranoid when I first met her; now i am going to universirty, and i couldnt be more amazed at the sudden life change.

    So that is living proof that even when things feel awkward or torturous, things are really sorting themselves out just fine.

    I have had bits of substantial writing that have been lost randomly but – what I’ve found is writing is recyclable and it doesnt matter if you lose some content,it’s just a chance to write something even better! Perhaps you feel like me sometimes that everyone has to hear everything you think for you to get closure, but the fact is: words are not thoughts, they are translations and sometimes saying nothing can communicate your thoughts just as good if not better! But anyway, what gets me through the anxiety is knowing that perfection is unknowable and imperfection is a godly trait. When life is imperfect ANYTHING is possible; when it’s trying to be perfect there are boundaries everywhere and we are left confused and without an open sense of direction, without knowing who we truly are…

    My advice to you, Cammie Scott, would be NOT to be perfect! It’s more fun surprising people anyway. I know that when you are being unpredictable that’s you being yourself. And you’re probably caught in this mindset where you are taking on the expectations of all those consumers of your life and trying to be predictable so they can accept you. But they are not accepting YOU, you are pretending to be a public persona dumbed down version of Cammie Scott. Not THE Cammie Scott. I have trouble with showering too. I have so many thoughts in my head that I can’t even think about doing all those necessary house chores. I’m also not a very regime-oriented person and I like that about myself. I get teased and judged, but you know, I’m happy with my imperfections – those people who judge you aren’t happy with theirs. I’m more concerned withhow healthy my mind, body and spirit is than how good i look on the outside. People just need to get perspective on whats important. A 5 year old will just do what they wanna do, they won’t compare themselves to yesterday and they don’t seek to be predictable, and that was the age I was happiest.

    Good luck Cammie! Hope you find your centre again. Your blog is brilliant!!

  75. O
    March 15, 2017 / 4:59 am

    Dear Cammie,
    I know it probably feels like you’ve tried every possible solution there is to try and combat your anxiety but perhaps try to take a step back from it. By this I mean immerse yourself in activities you know will calm you, for example rewatching a favourite series (for me this is 90210!). By taking a full day or maybe couple of days just completely chilling out and blocking out the outside world could really help reduce your anxiety levels. I know this works for me but of course, everyone is different.
    Lots of love xoxo
    p.s. speaking out about anxiety is really admirable and i’m so please people with an influential voice, like you, have the courage to do so.

  76. Alexander
    March 15, 2017 / 6:42 am

    I suffer from OCD (the real kind not perfectionist) and anxiety. Mine has been extremely bad lately so I can totally relate. Support systems help in the fact of feeling like you have a safe place to go (my husband is that for me). The thing that helps me is taking it one task at a time. Write a list for the day maybe only 1 thing at first and check it off when you do it. It helps knowing you don’t have a mountain to do that day.

  77. Kate
    March 15, 2017 / 6:45 am

    You should give meditation a shot. I never realized how un-present I always was due to anxiety–worrying about what I could’ve done better, worrying about things in the past, worrying about today, tomorrow, and a year down the road–but I never was able to be in the present moment and quiet all those negative thoughts. And it sounds like you know, those thoughts cycle into more negative thoughts and though we know it’s temporary, it’s so hard to feel un-stuck. Meditation helped me slow down and really be present. Also the book “The Power of Now” was super inspirational for me. Xoxo

  78. March 15, 2017 / 7:44 am

    we love you and you’re a strong successful woman and i’m soo proud seeing how u become more and more in control of your life even if you can’t see it WE CAN i have security issues and anxiety but it gets better i believe in that i believe one day i’ll concur my body insecurity and to be out and proud 😛 AND i believe you’ll find your old self back we love you CAMDEN

  79. March 15, 2017 / 7:45 am

    we love you and you’re a strong successful woman and i’m soo proud seeing how u become more and more in control of your life even if you can’t see it WE CAN i have security issues and anxiety but it gets better i believe in that i believe one day i’ll concur my body insecurity and to be out and proud 😛 AND i believe you’ll find your old self back we love you CAMDEN

  80. Melissa
    March 15, 2017 / 8:15 am

    I am not going to lie, as a person who has suffered from extreme anxiety for the past 14 years of my life, I almost didn’t read the whole blog out of fear of being triggered. I did read it all though, because I am a counselor by trait, and what kind of counselor would I be if I couldn’t try to help someone else who is experiencing anxiety. To be frank, anxiety is a bastard! I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But, the more attention and power you give your anxiety, the longer it will set up shop in your mind and become the new normal. Sometimes you need to sit with it, let yourself feel it. Easier said than done, right? My anxiety flared up so bad recently that I didn’t see any hope in sight of ever feeling better and living a life without anxious thoughts and feelings, but i decided i didn’t want to live that way anymore and I am trying to take some steps to change it. Hopefully, they work. I am self disclosing to let you know I can totally relate to how you are feeling. That merry go round of thoughts and emotions can be exhausting and make us feel like we don’t know who we are and that we are our anxiety. You are still the same person, you might be going through a difficult spot in your life that you need to process the emotions to get to the other side. Anxiety likes to come around when we don’t allow ourselves to look at the things that might be really bothering us, so we project on to other things, and those emotions that we don’t process come out sideways. That is when anxiety gets the call like a bat symbol to set up shop in our thoughts and feelings. Not to try and diagnose you, but it sounds like your anxiety is manifesting with OCD traits, which would explain the pressure you are putting on yourself to do things better and feeling like what you are doing is not good enough. Trust the process, and enjoy the journey, it might not always be smooth, but it is better than the alternative. You are going to figure it out and you might have to go through some of the bad stuff to get to where you are meant to be. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! Make that your mantra! For us sufferers of anxiety, blindly trusting the process is like asking us to give up all control, which is the hardest thing to do when you have anxiety. We can’t control everything as much as we try to, the more we try and we feel like we are losing control, the more anxious we become. I usually am most anxious in the morning, and as strange as it sounds, I have been trying to greet the anxious feelings and sit with them, treat them like a friend rather than an enemy ( will update you as to how that is working 🙂 ). Go easy on yourself. Explore and process your emotions that you are feeling. I saw your vlog about “its ok to not be ok” and you stated that you usually are private with your feelings. Stop that! If you feel like you are burdening others with your problems, know that you aren’t! If it is a pride thing, go to a therapist, or journal, but get them out in some way, or else that anxiety will always be at bay waiting for your most vulnerable moment and it will pounce. Challenge your negative thoughts and turn the irrational ones into new, positive, rational ones. I actually have an exercise on this that is effective when i give it to my clients. Join an online support group if you need to. But, most importantly, be gentle with yourself! Good luck with everything. And you can thank the cave men for our constant fight or flight mentality. Anxiety is a genetic mishap that we inherited from the cavemen due to them constantly being in a fight or flight state. I hope everything works out for you and you know that these feelings and maybe the rough spot you are in are only as temporary as they are supposed to be, but to grow you need to go through it.

  81. Melissa
    March 15, 2017 / 8:38 am

    “One day it just clicks. You realize what’s important and what isn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you and more about what you think of yourself. You realize how far you’ve come and you remember when you thought things were such a mess that you would never recover. And you SMILE. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you’ve fought to become.”
    Unknown

    Saw this on tumblr after I posted and it seemed fitting.

  82. Ly
    March 15, 2017 / 8:48 am

    I’ve been feeling like this for a long time.
    I don’t think you’re being ridiculous or dramatic, you’re just expressing your emotions.
    Sometimes we demand so much ourselves and that makes us think that we never give enough. Other times, external pressures can also play against us.
    We should give ourselves a break, rest our minds and not let ourselves be won by that feeling … it is hard, but I know we can do it, we are strong. I hope you feel better soon.

  83. Meghan
    March 15, 2017 / 9:55 am

    Hi Cammie,

    Not sure if you read your comments but I felt compelled to respond to this post. I’ve followed your story for awhile now – I first came across you and Shannon on Instagram a little over 2 years ago – my friends and I were pumped to see a femme couple that represented the type of lesbian like us that you don’t usually see in the media. Admittedly, I still feel a little silly as I’m a little older than you and my girlfriend gives me shit for following you on Snapchat (lol). Anywho! If I were in your shoes I’d never take advice from a stranger but hear me out – anxiety is always going to be a part of your life – its just something you have to accept and not try to fight. I had it so bad that it started to really affect my life (I wasn’t going out with friends at night, nothing was making me excited anymore because it all felt like too much and I was overwhelmed) and it all coincided with a long term relationship ending. I didn’t know it at the time and thought that something was wrong with me and I was dying but looking back, I just was overwhelmed with life because I was alone. That was about 7 years ago and I spent a good 3 years being single – and let me tell you, it was the best fucking time of my life..albeit scary..it was something I needed. I see you found someone that seems to make you happy from what you’re showing your viewers but if I could just tell you one thing – be happy being alone. You won’t be able to be completely happy with anyone else before you’re happy with yourself..#clicheascanbe. Good luck girl..you’ll be okay.

  84. FuckFeeling
    March 15, 2017 / 10:03 am

    I can feel you. All I want to say is Don’t worry, be happy!
    Busy can let me not think too much, so I’ll keep myself busy. Getting along with your friends will help you.
    I don’t want to say too much, because I have too many painful memories.
    When I was 18, I got depressed. Now I am 23 years old, I will not say that I am happy every day, but I’m better than the past. I’m getting better.
    Do things that make you happy, I’m sure you talk to your friend is better than a doctor. Even if it’s hard for you to open your heart to your friends, but it’s good for you to get along with your friends.
    Stop worrying too much!!!

  85. Tammy
    March 15, 2017 / 11:00 am

    You’ve just got to ride the wave. Focus on knowing it will get better 😊

  86. Daniela
    March 15, 2017 / 11:48 am

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I can relate a lot to this post and I really hope you will feel better soon. I think talking about anxiety is a step in the right direction. For me it makes the feelings easier to handle and maybe to accept. I really understand your point, that you know that you are to hard on yourself and that you’re doing enough, but you can’t really feel it. It just seems impossible. I think there is no “perfect way” to handle anxiety, cause it’s so different, but for me it sometimes helps to stop whatever I was going to do. To take some time for myself and rest, meditate. And not trying to push myself to feel, that I am doing enough. Because it makes things even worse, if I realize that I can’t feel it. And later on, when the anxiety is not that present anymore I take some time again and try thinking about everything. Was there a chance I could solve a problem better? Have I done everything I could? I simple try to prove, if I could have done better. Basically I try to look very rational on everything and obviously it’s not working always, but at least sometimes. I think the most important thing is to accept the anxiety. Because then it’s easier not to fear the moment, when it starts again. It makes it easier to calm dawn and not being capture in the circle of anxiety, fear and frustration. I hope you’ll find a way to handle your anxiety and to see that you are enough!

  87. Noy
    March 15, 2017 / 12:13 pm

    I am currently in a very stressfull period in my life, and sometimes all the stress just builds up and I break down, cry or get upset about the stupidest things. My advice is whenever you feel anxious, stressed, upset and so on, just forget about other things for a while. Give yourself a break, treat yourself and do something that you love- wether it’s going out, doing sports, taking a relaxing bath or just crushing on the couch watching tv. And while you’re doing that, tell yourself that as long as you’re in a break there’s no point in thinking about anything else, since it’s not gonna benefit you or the thing you are worrying about/ need to do. By the time you’ll finish what you’re doing you’ll have strength, motivation and postivity to continue in full power. Everything is temporary Cammie and life is just too short and beautiful to waste❤

  88. Jenny
    March 15, 2017 / 1:55 pm

    I feel the same some days, and I love that I have someone one the internet that i can relate to and know that I’m not alone. It helps so much reading about this, because the words you write are how I feel and I just love that I can read my feelings without then being written by me.
    I mean, I feel sorry for anyone who feels this way, because it is not a nice feeling. But it is obvious that someone does feel this way and I kind of really appreciate it because it sucks to be the only One in the game.
    Thank you Camden for being real and amazing ❤

  89. Guest
    March 15, 2017 / 2:02 pm

    Just following you and watching your journey from afar, it seems like things are opening up for you. It might feel like all the doors are open for you right now and you want to run through as many as possible. I imagine that having so many opportunities makes everyday necessities like showering feel like a waste of time. You might be overwhelmed by choice and have an intense FOMO on those choices. If you feel this is the case, I guess my suggestion is… Remember that you can only do one thing at a time. Don’t try to do everything at once, or create a system that helps you deal with everything in a clear and structured way. Take it easy.

  90. Lou
    March 15, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    Hi camden
    I don’t know if you are gonna read this but just in case i have to say that i would comfort you saying this is gonna change but no … I mean yes and fortunately life is going to give you a lot of great things but you know i think that each time of your life is going to make you deal with issues and you have to keep walking your way in all these shits crossing it.
    I’m french so sorry for the english
    I am in the same mood , dealing with a lot of new things , don’t know if it’s gonna work so GOOD LUCK FRIEND

  91. Nicole
    March 15, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    I think that sometimes when I’m feeling this way, the only thing I need to hear is that I’m not alone in it.

    No pretty words, no advice, no suggestions. Just…you’re not alone. The shower struggle happens to me, too. I can’t find the balance between too hard on myself and loosening the reigns. I can’t always identify with who I am because who I am is going in so many directions, splicing and multiplying and feeling and giving and taking and living.

    It’s okay. You’re okay. And it gets better.

  92. Danielle
    March 15, 2017 / 2:56 pm

    Hey Cammie,

    I don’t want to be someone that writes a novel on my life story or tells you what do but just simply wanted to share some advice. I am a therapist and while in graduate school a therapist once said to me that “anxiety was fear and anticipation of the future while depression was reliving the past.” Sounded basic then but what she was getting at is that nobody ever teaches us how to stay in the present moment. Our thoughts drive everything and when you catch yourself with anxiety.. take a step back and start thinking about your senses. What are you feeling? What are you touching? What are you smelling? .. you get the picture. Continue to practice mindfulness (always being in the present moment) and you will start to notice a difference. Meditation is a great way to teach yourself mindfulness and it is an all natural hollistic tool that everybody can use. Hope you see brighter days ahead 😊

  93. Steph
    March 15, 2017 / 3:04 pm

    Sorry that you’re feeling this way, Cammie! I suffer from anxiety too and definitely have days where I feel like I’m going nowhere – it doesn’t help that I am a serial procrastinator and often make a habit of putting things on the back burner. I don’t want to sound like a broken record because many commenters above have already said it, but self-love is crucial at times like these. If you haven’t heard of it, there’s an app I sometimes use called Pacifica and allows you to track your mood or thoughts or even your goals but I find the breathing techniques especially helpful.

    I recently have decided to venture into the world of blogging (somewhat strange because it’s never really appealed to me before) and I think that is in part thanks to you. <3 Stay strong.

  94. Graces
    March 15, 2017 / 4:45 pm

    Hi cammie — usually happens, sometimes it is better than others .. in my case sometimes I have some anxiety but listening to music and doing things that I like is happening little by little. I can only say that you are a woman to admire I send you a big hug from Mexico greetings and remember that everything is going to work out.

  95. Noel Pecoraro
    March 16, 2017 / 12:53 pm

    I am not medically versed, but I myself have had similar feelings, when it feels impossible to get out of your own head. I can only share what has worked for me and what I also hope to improve because these are still re-occuring events for me (especially having just quit my corporate job in search of purpose via unemployment, yikes):

    Exercise, and yes I know everyone says this, but it helps. And I don’t mean just hitting up the gym, but finding physical exercise you find fun. For instance, I just found a rock climbing gym near me that also has yoga classes. I’m god awful at rock climbing, but it’s a fun new thing to try and I get to end my climbing with a yoga class and a cup of tea in their cafe.

    In the same realm of yoga, have you tried meditation? We live in such a busy world/generation, it’s hard to not be constantly scrolling through IG with constant reminders of how we could be doing better (even though those people are probably going through the very same emotions). I’ve been trying to meditate for a short period of time right when I wake up to start off my day on the right foot {mind / matter}. This is not to say that anxiety disorders aren’t very real, but strengthening the mind and ability to control your thoughts could help manage those overwhelming moments and give you a different perspective on what’s important 🙂 .

    I also enjoy going for walks outside (no makeup, sweats, whatever), plug in my headphones, and put on a Rich Roll podcast. Plant based ultra athlete who has long form interviews with inspiring people all over the world, about wellness (mind and body) and so interesting and a great way to get new perspective and distraction.

    You got this girl.

  96. Elyse Noelle
    March 17, 2017 / 11:38 am

    thank you! I’m sorry you are feeling this way but its nice to see that I’m not the only human in the world that feels this way or goes through the same spurts of anxiety driven weeks. It does get better! You just have to ride the wave out.

    • cammiescott
      March 17, 2017 / 2:21 pm

      reading these comments makes it easier to think so many people deal with this and are thriving every day! <3

  97. Amber
    March 17, 2017 / 1:52 pm

    Thank you so much cammie for posting something so personal and making me feel like I wasn’t alone in a constant battle. I hope you are doing better and I can’t wait for more Posts.

  98. Casey
    March 17, 2017 / 1:57 pm

    I can relate to this so so so much. I HAVE REALLY REALLY REALLY BAD ANXIETY AND ITS GOTTEN TO THE POINT WHERE I HAD TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE BECAUSE I JUST COULDN’T DO IT. I ALWAYS JUST TRY TO BREATHE IN AND OUT SLOWLY, DEEP BREATHS. I ALSO TRY TO THINK THAT IM NOT GOING TO LET THIS ANXIETY TAKE OVER ME AND I AM IN CONTROL. HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY CAM ❤❤❤

  99. Georgie
    March 17, 2017 / 2:08 pm

    Hey Cammie!
    I understand and can empathise with this completely. I just moved out of home for University but back when I WAS staying with my parents, my anxiety was a lot worse. Every single day I couldn’t go anywhere or achieve any of the work I needed to get done because my anxiety and my paranoia literally had its own anxiety. Normally i have a low to medium level of anxiety everyday, but when I was at home it was like my body was always on edge. I would get freaked out about the curtains moving against the window sill, the floor boards creaking, the birds flying too close. Any noise my brain would just completely overanalyse and overwhelm itself.

    Unfortunately i still don’t have a method of fixing or numbing this but I wanted to share my story with you to show further that you are definitely not alone in this (if the number of comments are any indication).

    Anxiety can be a true bitch, but honestly; id rather have anxiety and know i’m alive then live without the pain and know nothing about the cruel parts of the world.

    That’s just my opinion though 🙂
    Have a great day!! x

  100. SMN
    March 22, 2017 / 11:48 am

    Hi Cammie,

    Have you read First, We Make the Beast Beautiful by Sarah Wilson? It came out recently and I just finished it. I’d highly recommend it.

    xo,

    S

  101. Ariana
    April 11, 2017 / 1:00 pm

    Writing is such a therapeutic way to get out your feelings so I hope you felt a little better after writing this. I have recently been feeling awful about everything I have been doing. I am a freshman in college and am overwhelmed by the changes I have been going through like leaving my parents house and living on my own to leaving my friends behind. I recently went on a spiritual retreat with my school and it has changed how I look at things. I used to pick out all the negatives happening around me and that would trigger my anxiety. Now I am looking at things in a more positive way and my anxiety has calmed down for a little. Thank you for sharing it is nice to see others who are going through the same struggle as you and see how they get through it.

  102. April 16, 2017 / 9:34 am

    such an inspiration, and thank you for sharing xo 💐

  103. Natalie Rose
    April 16, 2017 / 9:42 am

    I relate to this post so much because although my anxiety stems from school I always feel as if I cannot do enough to get the good grades or im not doing as well as my friends and although thats not fair to me it is part of my life. I have anxiety attacks and things of that nature but reading your blog and reading other peoples comments on your blog, makes me realize that there are so many other people who are going through the same thing and you really are helping people.

  104. Amber_Cheyanne
    April 16, 2017 / 10:08 am

    Honestly same. I hate my anxiety attacks. I used to get them so much my freshman year because I wasn’t surrounded by good people. A lots changed and my attacks have come to a low, but I’ll get them eventually.

  105. Ashley
    April 16, 2017 / 10:25 am

    Oh anxiety. It can seem so simple to combat but right when you think you semi have it under control it pops back up. Sadly, in full force. Something that helps me is knowing I’m not fighting this annoying disorder alone.
    Thanks for sharing a bit of your struggle with us, Cammie. It feels comforting knowing our struggles are similar. And that’s exactly why this is my favorite blog post thus far.

  106. Linda Nuñez
    April 16, 2017 / 10:45 am

    Thanks for sharing this with us, Cammie! It goes so far to show that we aren’t the only ones who go through this. Anxiety is a daily struggle for me, and I can totally relate to being a rational person and then being so hard on myself for being dramatic. You just get so tired of being tired of being tired of yourself. I definitely find writing this stuff down to help. I even recently wrote myself a song about my anxiety, and I try to look back and sing it to myself to remind me that it’s just how I feel at the moment and that it will pass and be all right. It’s just crazy how we feel so broken and lost at those short moments. Thanks, again for sharing this ❤️. Sending all the love out to you

  107. Erin
    April 16, 2017 / 11:09 am

    I can relate to so much of this. Thank you so much for sharing!

  108. Helena
    April 16, 2017 / 11:11 am

    Thank you for sharing this. I’ve been having a hard time managing my anxiety lately too, and, while it isn’t nice to hear that other people are also suffering, it is nice to know that you’re not alone and that someone else understands at least a bit of what it’s like. I know this post is a month old now, but I hope that you are feeling better and that things are seeming easier.

    It always feels so comforting to see people whom you admire and who seem to have it “together” be open about their mental health struggles. I wish you the best, and thank you for being so open.

    <3

  109. ludo riot
    April 16, 2017 / 11:21 am

    this is my favourite blog post ♥

  110. Kristina
    April 16, 2017 / 11:29 am

    ❤️

  111. Robyn Vice
    April 16, 2017 / 11:57 am

    This is one of my favorite posts, because while I’m reading it I related to everything you are saying. I have not been diagnosed with a anxiety disorder but I always wonder if I don’t have one. Because this year alone I have had several forms of panic attacks and it all comes back to the amount of stress I’m under and feeling like I’m working my ass off but not actually getting somewhere in my studies, and just life in general. So reading this kind of helped me see that I’m not alone in feeling the world is closing in on me and that in itself makes it kinda better. So thank you xx

  112. April 16, 2017 / 12:09 pm

    I feel the exact same way, like no matter what I do or how hard I work to achieve my goals I will never feel satisfied. It’s like running down a hallway that never ends and all the doors are locked.

  113. Hannah
    April 16, 2017 / 12:51 pm

    Hi Cammie,
    So far in my life I feel overwhelmed by my future and if I’ll make the right decisions. I’m only a junior in high school, but I’m getting stressed over college and my career. I see more of the stress in college than the reward and seeing that way brings me to the point of tears. For many situations I see the negative before the positive and push myself to the point of frustration and tears. I know I need to see past the negative, because there may be a bright side. I was talking to my girlfriend recently and she was telling me all the things that make her individually happy and as of right now I haven’t really found that yet. I don’t like to feeling lonely and just hope eventually through life I will find what makes me truly happy without too much stress. I wish the best of you Cammie and hope that you are happy!! Thanks for being there and I appreciate all you do for your subscribers and followers!! Continue being you!!!
    -Hannah

  114. Johanna
    April 16, 2017 / 2:32 pm

    This Post is so pure and Personal and for That its my favorite

  115. Courtney Honigsberg
    April 16, 2017 / 4:58 pm

    This is insanely relatable and beautiful.
    Often times we may feel alone… but when you see things like this, you realize we are only human.

    XOXO – Courtney

  116. Joannacasuccio
    April 16, 2017 / 5:41 pm

    This is 3000% my favorite of your posts so far. I was ridiculously stressed when you posted it and it honestly made me feel so validated! Thanks so much, you’re honestly an inspiration 🤗🤗🤗

  117. Karha
    April 16, 2017 / 7:00 pm

    Cammie, I totally understand this. This is how I feel as well most of the time. I don’t know how to cope with it very well, but I’m still alive!

  118. Carolanne Monteleone
    April 16, 2017 / 7:59 pm

    This is probably always be one of my favorite blog posts from you. It’s a totally different side of yourself you shared with us and it’s nice to see even people who we think have “perfect lives” deal with things like anxiety too. Sending you love Cammie.

  119. Francisca Viana
    April 17, 2017 / 7:23 am

    You have no idea how i relate to this SO DAMN MUCH

  120. Blaire
    April 17, 2017 / 9:17 am

    I’m always late and rarely post anywhere but I felt like a response here is warranted. I’ll be 35 in a couple months and I’ve literally struggled with depression since I was 15 and anxiety hit when I was about 25. Strangely the 2 seem to go hand in hand. I still see a therapist and have come to terms with the fact that I will always have ‘these’ struggles and that medication is necessary to keep me from going down that dark hole again. Outwardly you would never know, but that’s the way of mental health…we are too scared of admitting that we do have struggles and mental health problems. But really, how is this any different than having high blood pressure or some other health problem? There are days where I struggle to get out of bed, suffocating from that deep pit of dread in my stomach but I always remind myself that it’s temporary and it will not last. Anxiety has a strange way of taking command of everything in your life so much that all you can do is focus on the anxiety itself. I hate the fact that my medical history states depressive and anxiety disorders. Nothing I can do about either one but deal with them as they come up. I’ve found sometimes the best thing I can do is get outside (vitamin D!), go see friends or family, or anything that distracts me, if I can make it happen. I’m not ashamed of my struggles and my friends know my history and what I’ve been through. And sadly, I think it’s part of my generation and yours that we feel helpless if we aren’t accomplishing something every single day. I have 3 college degrees and a great career, and yet there are times where I feel like I should be getting my master’s or doctorate in nursing just because that seems to be what most of my friends and college classmates did. For now though, I am completely content with where I am in life and work, even if there is room for improvement. Outward pressure to do more, be more, live more will only make us feel worse about the things we should be wholeheartedly proud of accomplishing! You are enough!! What you have done and accomplished is enough! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being content and not always having to strive to do more and accomplish more. Easier said than done, I know so well. Good vibes and love to you Cammie. Get lost in some music and remind yourself it’s temporary.

    My go to song for a pick-me-up is Andra Day–Rise Up.

  121. Brittany
    April 17, 2017 / 10:02 am

    This is my favorite blog post. My girlfriend has anxiety and I’m trying to understand it better so I can be able to support and be there for her more. So thank you Can this helped me understand a little better!! <3

  122. Tori-Gaye
    April 17, 2017 / 3:41 pm

    I think this is my favorite blog post. It’s easy to feel like the people we idolize or admire are perfect but this post proves that you’re just like the rest of us, simply trying to do the best you can. I can’t say that I understand exactly what you’re feeling but I can tell you that you’ll be okay. Anxiety is something we all face in different ways and sadly yours, at that point, was more intense. Just take it day by day and try not to be too hard on yourself. As long as you get everything done, no matter if it takes a little longer than you’d like, it’s okay. Getting it done is good enough. Your efforts are good enough. Feel free to rant as much as you’d like. We’re all here because we love and support you. We may be virtual strangers but if it’s any consolation, we’re here for you in whatever way we can be ❣️Thanks for letting us in. Love you Cam ❤️

  123. alexwatts
    April 18, 2017 / 12:02 am

    i love this blog post cam ❤️

  124. Kelly
    April 18, 2017 / 6:02 am

    Cammie,
    I’ve never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but anytime I read something about it I always wonder if I have one myself. Whether I do or not, you make me feel like I can do anything anyway.
    You don’t realize how much people take from just little things you write about your life struggles. Thank you for showing me and other people reading that it will not hold you down whether you have a disorder or anything like that. Thank you for taking the time and writing this
    😊

  125. April 24, 2017 / 9:29 am

    Love this post 💐💐💐 and the blog!

  126. RD
    April 26, 2017 / 9:31 am

    Take care give yourself a break. Ive been had a bad time too but i will not give up
    2311CMAS CMRD LOVE U ENDLESSLY

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