I’m working on finding a balance between being open and honest with you guys yet also allowing myself to keep my personal life somewhat personal. This topic very much so straddles that line but I think it’s okay. At least this one time!
I consider myself to be a very positive person. I have a deep belief in positive thinking bring positive outcomes. Now I know this can be annoying to some people and I definitely have been accused of being fake happy more times than I can count, but I will always believe in focusing on the positive in life and manifesting your desires. That being said, I’m not always okay or happy or feeling very positive and that’s okay.
I get all of this and I am more than okay with it, it’s letting myself share this with others that has become the difficult part. I guess since I have become this positive, happy person, I have also become afraid to let people see me when I’m sad. Rather than talking to people about why I’m not feeling great, I’d rather just hide in my room, away from the world. I have never understood how some people find it so easy to open up to others. I’m not sure what caused it but I rarely turn to others when I’m feeling low or need guidance in life yet I am often times the one everyone else comes to. I find it so important to discuss your problems and concerns in order to properly understand them and how they’re affecting you, so why do I find it so hard? Someone once explained it to me by saying “you are everyones best friend, but no one is yours.” This sounds so incredibly harsh but it made so much sense.
I guess the first step in improving yourself is to fully understand what the problem is. So little by little I am going to work on opening up to others, and you all, and allowing people to help me when I really need it.